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About Deviant Artist RoqiFemale/Unknown Group :iconaalc: AALC
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Hello friends! I have been struck with a sudden desire to write a journal, so here I am. Incredibly, this is the first one this year (man I've really as good as quit dA...). I suspect my birthday next week may have something to do with it -- writing a journal is a way of reflecting on how things have been going. :P And I just feel like talking to people. But be warned, this will be rambling. And sad. Birthdays always make me sad.

So... first, the subject of many of my previous journals, the blasted hand. Well, back in October, I had finally found a competent orthopedist, a specialist in hand and arm problems. Turns out, it's "just" an inflamed repeated motion injury. I'm glad it's nothing more serious, as hard as this is to heal anyway. But he also found something much more interesting. Holding down my hand, he moved the ulna (one of the forearm bones) around, and told me, your joints are loose. It's genetic, just the way you're built. You're flat-footed too, right?

You shouldn't do strength exercises at all, he says. No lifting for you.

Well, he was very right. My knees have been wonky since high-school, the kneecaps shifting to the outer sides, not wanting to stay where they're supposed to. The flat-footed-ness. How my toes have been cracking ever since childhood. I'm like a puppet with loose strings, all clattery. The cacophony of cracking I can make is incredible.

Since then, my popping ankle has started to hurt in much the same way as my wrist, making it difficult to walk. Looking at anatomy charts, I'm pretty sure I know which tendon it is, even. My elbows pop too, I'm just waiting for them to start going. My left hand too. It's like, a joint gets uncomfortable and won't bend normally, and I have to do a quick, snapping movement to "pop" the misplaced tendon back in its groove. This, of course, damages the tendon as it rubs against the bone, and eventually gets bad enough that an inflammation begins.

I'll be living with chronic pain that's going to worsen with age all my life, and I'm still trying to come to terms with that.

In my dreams I'm frequently a dragon, cutting through air with my powerful wings, smashing through windows as glass shards harmlessly bounce off my scales, breathing fire down at whatever I don't like.

So, yeah, uh, depressing much? xD My activity is very limited. My hand has been, thankfully, a lot better since I've been committed to resting and stretching it, so I can draw or vidya for an hour or two. Still have to be very careful not to bend the wrist or something, or it'll hurt for days afterwards. I really don't know what to do. I can't get a job. Doing something repetitively for eight or more hours would kill me. Maybe that's inevitable. I'm trying to gently exercise, get the blood flowing, taking alternating hot and cold showers, in hopes that it will help, make me more... mobile. We'll see.

I miss what dA used to be, for me. I used to be so excited to upload art, to show it off, now when I draw it just goes into the pile in the back of my cabinet. Dunno-- this entire thing just lost its appeal, somehow. I was thinking about deleting everything in my gallery, even, but it's fun to look back at it all sometimes. Even if I backed up all the pics, I wouldn't be able to save all the comments and convos on the deviations. :c And those were always the best part, after all.

Oddly enough, despite everything, I've not been in such a bad place mentally. Or not as bad as I were sometimes. I'm kinda just peacefully drifting, doing whatever I can, not getting mad when I can't. Might just be the antidepressants, though, LOL. Still, it's good. Lying in bed and thinking is not physically draining, so that's what I've been doing, and it led me to actually writing some OC stuff. The ten short stories I have may yet end up being chapters. Who knows.

Don't think I haven't been stalking all of ye. >3> Here, and on Tumblr and Facebook for those I have there. BUT ANYWAY. Whether you read all of the crap above, or just scrolled to the bottom, SAY HI AND TALK TO ME. Tell me what's crackin'. How's life been treating you?
  • Mood: Hurt
  • Reading: Philip K. Dick
  • Playing: pokemon. always pokemon
  • Eating: junk food
  • Drinking: beer
WHY AM I GETTING SO MANY LLAMAS ALL OF A SUDDEN O_o
Renegade

See me
I'm still standing
I might be bleeding
But I'm still breathing

You might hate me
But you can't break me
I might be bleeding
But I'm still breathing

I'll never surrender
'Cause I'm a renegade
What, what you want some
Come and get some
Pussy motherfucker
I got you where you live nigga
Me, you will never control, no
Genocidal maniacal

Devil, the party's over
I'm a renegade
A runaway slave
I've been dreaming about my freedom
On the underground train
It's Armageddon you're getting, just what you wanted
Critical mass, freedom at last, freedom at last

Hed PE - Renegade



Always been his song.

This is sort of what I planned for Esteban before, well, things went belly up. He'd have eventually mutated into some sort of an insectoid dragon/dragonish insect, and then... but maybe I'll still do something with that plot someday, so I'll shut up. ;P

Anyway.

I'm enjoying these markers! Dx And I used to hate them so much... It's just that you can't make them not dirty and messy so you have to work with it rather than against it... The process on this went like this: first I sketched it and took a picture, then happily and messily painted over it, and then inked his outline while looking at the photo.

I faced a bit of a dilemma when it came to drawing Estie's crotch. On one hand, I knew he wouldn't be wearing any pants when on some monstrous rampage (would you?). On the other, if I detailed out his ol' honker, it'd be a bit... distracting. :| So, it just swung back with momentum, alrighty? No mutant dicker for you.

Oh, and his wing? It's his left one, actually. If you remember his scar, now you know that his right wing started growing muuch earlier-- and thinking it some nasty tumor or something, he had a mate hold him down and cut it off. I'm actually proud of the concept of the wing, which is a wing like a bird's with butterfly wings sprouting from it like feathers... dunno it I did it justice.

I did not use any refs when approximating these muscles, so it's far from perfect, but I'm still proud of how far I've come anatomy-wise.

Around four hours. Brush markers, ink, and some white acrylic paint for some subtle highlights.
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Why by Roqi
Why
I just have no patience for more elaborate titles nowadays. x'D

Wayne "Why" White, my oldest character... not age-wise, existence-wise. I said it in the description of a picture of his sister and I'll say it again, it feels so good to draw your ocs the way you always wanted them to look like.

I hate the way his lips look, but I got tired of redrawing them ahah. Also, his ear... I sketched it all pretty like and was super proud, but then I remembered that's his mangled ear of which less than half remains, and which he tends to cover up with hair. Go figure. :P

Ink and ink and ink. Love ink.
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Hesperos by Roqi
Hesperos
I got a betta and he is gorgeous. ;.;

Here, I decided to work with the inevitable smudging of my markers... and do the actual definition/lineart with ink over it. ;P Worked nicely, I think.
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Hello friends! I have been struck with a sudden desire to write a journal, so here I am. Incredibly, this is the first one this year (man I've really as good as quit dA...). I suspect my birthday next week may have something to do with it -- writing a journal is a way of reflecting on how things have been going. :P And I just feel like talking to people. But be warned, this will be rambling. And sad. Birthdays always make me sad.

So... first, the subject of many of my previous journals, the blasted hand. Well, back in October, I had finally found a competent orthopedist, a specialist in hand and arm problems. Turns out, it's "just" an inflamed repeated motion injury. I'm glad it's nothing more serious, as hard as this is to heal anyway. But he also found something much more interesting. Holding down my hand, he moved the ulna (one of the forearm bones) around, and told me, your joints are loose. It's genetic, just the way you're built. You're flat-footed too, right?

You shouldn't do strength exercises at all, he says. No lifting for you.

Well, he was very right. My knees have been wonky since high-school, the kneecaps shifting to the outer sides, not wanting to stay where they're supposed to. The flat-footed-ness. How my toes have been cracking ever since childhood. I'm like a puppet with loose strings, all clattery. The cacophony of cracking I can make is incredible.

Since then, my popping ankle has started to hurt in much the same way as my wrist, making it difficult to walk. Looking at anatomy charts, I'm pretty sure I know which tendon it is, even. My elbows pop too, I'm just waiting for them to start going. My left hand too. It's like, a joint gets uncomfortable and won't bend normally, and I have to do a quick, snapping movement to "pop" the misplaced tendon back in its groove. This, of course, damages the tendon as it rubs against the bone, and eventually gets bad enough that an inflammation begins.

I'll be living with chronic pain that's going to worsen with age all my life, and I'm still trying to come to terms with that.

In my dreams I'm frequently a dragon, cutting through air with my powerful wings, smashing through windows as glass shards harmlessly bounce off my scales, breathing fire down at whatever I don't like.

So, yeah, uh, depressing much? xD My activity is very limited. My hand has been, thankfully, a lot better since I've been committed to resting and stretching it, so I can draw or vidya for an hour or two. Still have to be very careful not to bend the wrist or something, or it'll hurt for days afterwards. I really don't know what to do. I can't get a job. Doing something repetitively for eight or more hours would kill me. Maybe that's inevitable. I'm trying to gently exercise, get the blood flowing, taking alternating hot and cold showers, in hopes that it will help, make me more... mobile. We'll see.

I miss what dA used to be, for me. I used to be so excited to upload art, to show it off, now when I draw it just goes into the pile in the back of my cabinet. Dunno-- this entire thing just lost its appeal, somehow. I was thinking about deleting everything in my gallery, even, but it's fun to look back at it all sometimes. Even if I backed up all the pics, I wouldn't be able to save all the comments and convos on the deviations. :c And those were always the best part, after all.

Oddly enough, despite everything, I've not been in such a bad place mentally. Or not as bad as I were sometimes. I'm kinda just peacefully drifting, doing whatever I can, not getting mad when I can't. Might just be the antidepressants, though, LOL. Still, it's good. Lying in bed and thinking is not physically draining, so that's what I've been doing, and it led me to actually writing some OC stuff. The ten short stories I have may yet end up being chapters. Who knows.

Don't think I haven't been stalking all of ye. >3> Here, and on Tumblr and Facebook for those I have there. BUT ANYWAY. Whether you read all of the crap above, or just scrolled to the bottom, SAY HI AND TALK TO ME. Tell me what's crackin'. How's life been treating you?
  • Mood: Hurt
  • Reading: Philip K. Dick
  • Playing: pokemon. always pokemon
  • Eating: junk food
  • Drinking: beer

deviantID

Roqi

Artist
I'm not a quitter, I just get bored quickly.
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Comments


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:iconself-destructbamboo:
Self-DestructBamboo Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013   General Artist
super duper happy birthday!! i hope the celebration is nice [if youre one to celebrate] and that your next year of life is wonderful as well n v n
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconphiloscaelum:
PhilosCaelum Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Deviantart told me it was your birthday today...so I hope you're day was excellent! :) 
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconhatsumei-akari:
Hatsumei-Akari Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ma! Thanks for the llama! Here's one back!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondesiresi:
DesiResi Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama :)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconoriana-the-wolf:
oriana-the-wolf Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013
Thanks for the Llama!! ~ <33
Reply
:iconceceme12:
ceceme12 Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
O.o Thank you for the llama!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconeversodashing:
EverSoDashing Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
Thanks for the fave <3<3
Reply
:iconslotmechanic:
SlotMechanic Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
HELLO, THIS IS HAGGIS

*falls over* I replied to the herb garden roleplay, in case you wanted to know ;w;

*sobs* I'm sorry I'm such a horrible, not-alive roleplay partner. I'm trying to be more active. ;w;
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconrelaxn:
Relaxn Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Student Digital Artist
:music: This is your birthday song! :music:
:music: It isn't very long! :music:

:iconballoonsplz::party::cake: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! :cake::party::iconballoonsplz:


SO sorry for not doing this sooner. ;_; I thought I had done it already.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconpooglegrundolovers:
pooglegrundolovers Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I FORGOT TO WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. :iconraegplz:

So, I will wish you a belated birthday, now. >u>

Happy Belated Birthday, m'dear! ^^
Reply
(1 Reply)
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